Friday, December 24, 2010

The year gone by !

It has been ages since I wrote something and that very thought was so irresistible that I am back. Life was getting busy and so tough that I feared to take a break. In fact the famous saying life itself is a teacher is so true. No matter how hard we yearn for and strive to reach the stars we will end up with handful of sand. But then this is real life and that it all has hidden purpose. How to surpass is a big question?

It is already Christmas and in a wink new year too!! The best ever time to make merry and to stay contented. Blog spaces are swarming with New Year resolutions and Christmas messages.  So what am I supposed to write?  Should I start with the immense knowledge I gained this year while I stumbled. 

Certain acts will never be fruitful till it reaches the ripe age!
Patience is all that matters.
The supreme quality everyone have to attain over the time. Make it as deep and wide as you can to lighten your melancholy. I can tell you this is a mammoth task but is never impossible! Each one of us can uncover our own unique ways to gain the fruit of patience.  (I promise this will ease your worries to zero.)

Perseverance should overrule our failures. Keep the hopes high and be firm in your aim. Though we stagger our motivation will give us hands to grasp. Believe me it is stronger than the tornado of failure. Our fortitude will craft wings to fly high and reach the goal!

Do not be foolish to consider all who smiles at you to be your admirer. It is easy to love and care others than to expect it back. A sincere heart will never fade and so are the deeds. Though you do not receive it back, at the time you wish from the person you expected, it will embrace you through different hands in the needy hours. This is inevitable for mankind so keep tight these qualities to love and care our fellow beings. Do not impair or manipulate the basic instinct! Expect least and act more!

Family makes the most. To cuddle with the emotions you experience as a family is the most precious of all. I never knew that it is like a sapling. The more you devote to nurture it the healthier it becomes! A deep-rooted relation will never wither fast. Seasons may change but new twigs of hope and love eager to sprout make our day bright! The quality time you spend with your loved ones, the pain of sacrifice for your soul mate, the respect and trust that binds you are the true enrichment for the sapling to grow. No other magic will replace the role !

As this year ends I am brimming with gratitude for the wonderful blessings from heaven above. The divine wisdom and peace showered on me that passeth all understanding. I am filled with joy and hope for a new beginning ! New twists and turns, ups and down, worries and happiness. A fusion so unpredictable !

Make merry and have loads of fun this Christmas season. Don’t you dare to forget the joy, hope and love of Christmas ?


Thursday, September 30, 2010


The Anglican Church has set apart the first Sunday of October as the Youth Sunday. All organizations under the banner of church will get a day like this to lead the worship. Ever since I turned 16 my parents will not let me come back after church without attending the youth meetings. I always found that complex as I had to take part in so many activities like group discussions and then presenting the theme to all, at times you may even have to lead the intercessory prayer and what not. Though the meetings had a colorful side with lots of friends and merry making it always drove me crazy. Then as years passed I felt like I had changed a lot. The hidden talents bloomed making me confident enough to take up the challenges. The reasons which held me back before has actually brought out the real me. I am no more active now in the fellowships as I had moved out for the younger ones. But still this year its different as I am involved in the making of an article to be published in the parish messenger. As part of the article I was caught up with scores of thoughts as I compared the then youth and the present youth. It seems to be miles. The attitude, views and concern have all reached a different level that I no more can comprehend it. Is this for good or bad that time alone can prove !

Youth is always considered as the age to learn, to accept, to change and to be the cause of transformation. A time when our potential and strength is most counted and recognised. This is the only state of mankind where one can strive to achieve what they aim. A period of confusion, uncertainty yet full of optimistic vigor. I remember in our days, there were lot of restrictions and rules that made us draw a line which we never even dared to cross. Those were but the reflections of our tradition and culture. Though I always disagreed to whatever my mom says about my friends I stealthily kept her views in mind and never let that go off. We were taught to respect and to be submissive to the elders. But now it’s a totally different scene. I can hardly see any respect towards teachers, parents or elders. It is always good to have independent outlook but never at the cost of despising the elderly. I was distressed when my neighbor (who is the professor of the top engineering college in my city) told that she is at times forced to shut her eyes while walking through the dark corridor of the library. On the contrary, my young friends counter that why everybody is so concerned about our lives. They demand the protection of their interests. Where actually did we go wrong in imparting the youth with the sanctity of our culture?

Similar attitude is acknowledged at family and society failing to fulfill the promises and responsibilities. However, the most striking of all is their focus on building a career and life up to their ‘mark’. They are absolutely blind in that race. No time for family and friends who once brightened their life and stood for making whom they are now. I should reach the summit even if I need to kick my best buddy down. Burning the midnight oil at the office table, purposefully forgetting that our dear ones crave for a silly talk or a loving pat as they sit disabled all alone at the house. The moral responsibility in raising our own siblings to the same height remains unveiled. Is money the cause for all this evil? My dear young friends I am not against the high spirits and ability in utilizing all the resources now known, for a bright future, but kindly reminding the hidden fatal state.

Erecting a pillar hollow in truth and values will only lead to destruction though the mansion look beautiful from afar. Can we try to reform in our outlook and values which will sustain till the end ?

Saturday, August 28, 2010


I don’t believe in valleys and hills nor do I trust the changing seasons. I can barely perceive that the day ends and night begin. No fragrance for the flowers that adorn my sidewalk or for the breeze that caresses me. Tranquility overrides every single moment. Overwhelmed by the faded colours and lifeless nature .. Everyday I open the window longing to see a cuckoo bird, who could sing to whirl my melancholy heart. As the rain pour down I no longer feel that Mother Nature is washing my tears too. I can only experience the thunderous echoes resembling the words of a petulant youth that pierce even my deepest wound. The sky remained black hiding my rainbow of hope. Then I searched for the radiant stars to brighten my desires but in vain. How long need I wait to see the sprouting new leaves, the sway of the lilies and the melodious singing of the cuckoo ? My eyes crave to see the beautiful colours that draped me once. When will my pallet fill again with stunning colours ? Will the seasons change just as my hearts wish ?

Monday, July 12, 2010

Wake up call !

God created man in his likeness and made him unique. But down the years what went wrong !! Its not sins but man has turned to beast toppling the evolution theories.

The present happenings in God’s own country is bewildering.. How brutal it is to chop off the palm of a professor (who has to be valued like God as per our rich tradition) ?? I cannot comprehend the deed. Common we are not living in a terrorist territory. Picture of a tormented teacher in deep anguish with head stooping down as though a third rate criminal, is flooding all the news channels. Is this the way to chastise a person who is cornered for setting the question paper faulty ?

No common man can uncover the sinister plot behind the conversation described in the passage. But still the worse has occur red.. A family under threat for over a month. Wife always anticipating hidden trap for her husband and not to say about rest of the kin. As a final point the axe ripped his palm and the men vanished into thin air.

It has been a week and the government is at snail’s pace. It is high time for the Kerala government to join hands with the law and order system of the middle east.. Nobody cares for the imminent murky days of the family not even to toss a formal ‘Can I console you?’ The compassion and love that makes humans superior is dried up. How long will we exist in such a filthy shell ??

Wake up, wake up mankind before the transformation completes !!

Monday, July 5, 2010

For you 'J' with love ....

Oh come and hold me for a while
To make me beam
Oh baby, lock me in a hug
To melt me down
For I still thirst for your love
As it’s new for all time ….

Can’t you reveal the magic?
How you drive me crazy
Will your tricks get exhausted ever?
In making my day
For I exist in those tender reflections
This will never wither ….

I crave to feel you
The smell so unique and the softness
Sweetest of all chocolates
Teach me all the means to
let you go wild
and to swirl with winds of love so divine

I wanna sing this love song
And drown you
Can I dance with the waves
As a note of gratitude
For He weaved us together
With a purpose untold !

Tuesday, June 29, 2010


The world is after a ball. I wonder what is so probing about this ball. I was never an ardent football fan .. But 2010 is different. Burning the midnight oil to see how this ball creates the wave ! Indeed rattled by the energy it dissipates.. Tennis is also clinging round a ball.. But the wave is not so high rather it is short lived..

But jubulani rocks !!
It signifies to rejoice and the ball has a magical spell that the spirit continues no matter the team of our choice win or loose. The most astounding of all is the rich tradition the event implies. The players exchanging jersey’s and accepting each others skill and encouraging the sport. The air has a new dimension this year.
May be I percieved it this time !!

Is it the vuvuzela (the noise generating trumpet of South African football fans) or the waka waka that grabbed me to the stadium ? Am not sure about the answer but the wave is still high !

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The present

The responsibilities never end. I cannot quit too. Life is going at its pace but I am limbing behind to live unto my expectations. This does not mean I am desperate. But the obligation consumes me. Wife, daughter, friend and the list continues with aunt being the new addition ….. I am not a failure as an aunt for my niece says I am the best cursive writing teacher in the world. Not convinced about the other roles. In a way it is fun to be all in one though at times you get crammed.

How I wish to live one day the life of a carefree teenager
To fly as high as my wild fantasies
To think of ways to be charming
And to hang out with my friends

How I wish to be in love    
To remain as my Jaggu’s delight
To fight with him for no reason
And to enjoy the drizzle of unconditional love

How I wish to wander through the woods of my dreams
To envy the beauty of unattained goals
To find the hidden pearls of opportunities
And to muse over the imminent days ..
But Hope give me wings, Love quenches my thirst and Faith console me ..

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Cakes ?? OMG !

Birthdays always bring joy be it yours or your loved ones.. Today was one such day. One of my colleague’s day and the whole crew was set to have a blast.. This is not a usual happening in my laboratory where people forget that they do exist in a society other than the serious research they pretend to do. I am not sure if this is the case with all the scientific community. So most of the days it is like work and work with no profound results as my head always remarks... But she is a lady of immense lenience that we all survive without any sort of stress. Another incomparable attribute of women ! The post is not related to her or our laboratory. Let me divert to the core issue.
Morning was busy to figure out plans to make the day memorable. Thanks to the new two students joined who made this possible (may be they are not drowned in the sea of makeover researchers). Birthdays are meant to express your love and all that you feel. It is evident through your deeds that how much pain you took to make the day. Gifts, cards, cakes all the stuffs are quiet transparent. If you have eyes to perceive even the attitude and sincerity are visible in it.. We bought a gift after so much arguments and it was worth it I guess. As the number of friends increases so will the ideas and it is difficult to make them intersect. Finally to add color some decorations and yes a cake too. Neatly adorned and all in pink with beautiful flowers.
 It looked yummy !!                                                

We forgot the candles but thanks to the movie ‘Wake up Sid’. I never knew matchsticks could make such a big grin to every face.. Even my guide was excited to see the decorated lab gleaming..

He cut the cake and then being the senior most it was my turn to make neat pieces without crumbling and wee it was a success. But you know I felt something fishy as the knife passed the core. Was it sticky oh maybe the rich butter that was my thought .. To finish I took my piece and ohw the smell !! Soar butter ?? Gosh the rich butter cake was displaying all the dirty colors towards the deep layer. Rather a culture of moulds and fungus.. All green .. As I turned I could see the embarrassed faces not knowing what to do slowly to end up in roars of laughter .. How did it happen ?

The poor birthday boy I wish he will be fine.. But indeed a day to cherish .. My ever first experience on an occasion like this..

Someone to share such a nasty day ?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


Another mother’s day went by. Blogs, media, shops and so on has truly celebrated the day. Yet another deceitful lollipop to grab the customers.. There ends its seems ..

Reading all the columns and watching all the shows dedicated to ‘moms’ I stepped out to see an old woman may be in her 70’s stooping and struggling to carry her precious bundle probably her only belonging. Its sizzling hot and I wonder how she manages to reach her destination or does she has any ? She sat down on the bench at the bus stand but never begged. She opened her bundle and can you guess what was in store !! Some old clothes, stale chapattis no its not finished .. A family photo with her two handsome, healthy boys .. How did they turn blind to this love?? Do they really know what they lost ... aah my questions will never end..

This is not one scene. At times I see mothers well locked within air-conditioned room . Yet they burn to see their kids just a room away. No time to spend for the poor old rugged piece. Knowingly or not they just walk past it. On every Sunday I see an ammachi draped in good sari, searching for a companion to share her words. If we happen to go near her she starts the same story the never ending one about her kids and the once blissful life. Not even once she grumbled at her grown up lads for denying her. When I go to altar she ask me to hold her. Recently I realized that she come with her daughter who has only time to exhibit the saree she bought last day and hence cannot wait till the end to take her mom .. Not to mention about oldage homes !

Its my greatest prayer nowadays that I should never follow this path. In my case it’s the laziness that pulls me back .. I am aware of it and fighting it back too .. How good it will be for everyone to dig out the reason why they lag behind..

No matter how many days we celebrate and how rich our parties are all they look forth is a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean and an ear to whisper the most silliest of all things..

Can we make it ??

Friday, May 7, 2010


Silence finally broke. I was flying high rather the wings were stronger than I could imagine that it took me so long. Now that I am back with all the colors and fragrance from the flight. How dazzling was it, the whole life from a distance? But it deceived me as I drew closer as always.. Yet I yearn for the most unforeseen turn, the guiding radiance….

This is too appalling. Nowadays anguish and nothing else can lit the candle and fill the ink.. Today is an exception. Lets rock !!

I walked down the lane which leads to the most charming era
A magical road that could roll the time backwards
I stopped in between to trace all the evergreen spots
To relive all cherished moments …..
She was a charming girl smart and bold,
quite different in attire and attitude.
Always been the odd one out. But never was in short of friends ..
Teacher’s pet and warden’s menace ..
She enjoyed every bit, nibbled till the last !

Then he stepped out of the vacuum
Posed as her ever best friend !
Subtly he detached her
She never knew the twist until he showed the hidden color …

Shadows everywhere, Colours drifted away
The clutches of pain and loneliness tightened
Oh ! her friends her precious stones
Never let her down ..

Years went by and as she walks down the lane
The whole lot was made clear
How she was deceived and the hidden twirls
Will she forgive him or rather should she ??

Friendship is all that lasts and you can hold it on till you desire.
It can rejuvenate your lost self .. Treasure it !!

Sunday, February 21, 2010


It took almost a month for me to do this Sorry Nipun !!
1) What is your current obsession?
2) What are you wearing today?
Short top with caprice
3) What’s for dinner?
Rice, fish & vegetables
4) What’s the last thing you bought?
Sari for mom (B’day gift)
5) What are you listening to right now?
Cricket commentary (India vs. South Africa)
6) What do you think about the person who tagged you?
Ohw the ever best follower of my blog. A good friend though we never met
7) If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the
world, where would you like it to be?
My native place
8) What are your must-have pieces for summer?
9) If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
10) Which language do you want to learn?
11) What’s your favourite quote?
Where there is a will there is a way !
12) Who do you want to meet right now?
My sister
13) What is your favorite timepass?
Reading & Sleeping
14) Give us 3 styling tips that work for you.
Ohw how can share it !!
15) What is your dream job?
16) What’s your favorite magazine?
Scientific American
17) If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
19) Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
Big B
20) What kind of haircut do you prefer?
21) What are you going to do after this?
To prepare for poster presentation
22) What are your favourite movies?
Manichitrathazhu, Mamma Mia
23) What inspires you?
24) What do your friends call you most commonly?
sus, susamani
25) Would you prefer coffee or tea?
26) What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
Writes n then cries ..
27) What makes you go wild?
When my husband makes the home untidy as soon as I finish my cleaning
28) Which other blogs do you love visiting?
All in the list !
29) Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
Anything with chocolate, chocolate n chocolate
30) How many tabs are turned on in ur browser right now?
31) Favorite Season?
32) If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
Anything with chicken …
33) What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
To act as though you are deaf
34) What are you afraid of the most?
35) When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Last days Shahnaz facial worked 
36) What brings a smile on your face instantly?
Another smile obviously !!
37) A word that you say a lot?
“Enikkishtalla ningale” to my hubby (I don’t like u, wink)
38) A prayer always made ?
Help me to be honest & humble
39) What is that one thing that keeps you going.
My faith and my desires
40) Who was your first love?
The boy next street !
Rules for those who are tagged:
Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.

Those I tag -

Chandrika Shubham

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

In search of

I am so weary tonight. Both physically and mentally. Exhausted !
The funniest part is the unknown reason. That’s how it’s getting complex.
How can I find a solution for an unknown cause ?
I am not too stressed at office nor at home these days. But still I crave for the nameless.
I am not dissatisfied about the way I live
Though I make silly complaints it never lasts more than an hour
Nevertheless the ease of existence is trailing

When I wish to dispense my feelings stream is lacking
Words are hiding and so is my mind
As I rush home with a bunch of roses
Rich with fragrance from the core
It is never apparent
When I yearn to be caressed, to be cuddled
Distance overrules
How I wish for lazy hours with chatter and laughter
To roll back to innocent years
Where happiness is all that exist
Except for the fear of getting kicked out from the class
Yet life is unpredictable !
At the least expected hour
I am swept off by the unconditional love and warmth
Drenched in the magic of joy and peace
How can I hold this season tight ?
Locks or nails are worth to be sought
HE who sees everything understands my hidden desires
Fulfill all my dreams if all I am patient
To reveal the gist of continuation ….

Saturday, February 13, 2010


Amid her fathers care and affection
She was daring, smart and prudent
Always equipped to face challenges
To step forward with unfailing morals

A stride through the paddy fields every evening
Clinging to her father
Swiftly he hides behind the leaves
To make her beautiful eyes fill with tear and then to sparkle

He rushes home after the hectic work
To be greeted by shuttle queen
As if evenings are made for her to hit the cork
With him always picking the never hit cork

Then it was books the new world
All vivid writing styles and authors
But it turns blue when he asks for
The list of new words noted

Years passed by but the distance never grew
He was always there no matter how wrong you are
Striving to convince the crazy teenager
About the values of life

The argument still continues
Though she miss the warmth
The riches never haunt her
For he succeeded in building the foundation strong

That’s my greatest gift
My father, My mentor !

Happy birthday !!
And I pray that God will fill him with more joy, peace and wisdom !!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Love through my eyes

Love is all I can hear loud. I wonder why is it always so captive. Through this post am presenting some of my rambling thoughts together with what I heard from others.

I am confused. Is love an emotion ? If so why is it so superior to other emotions ? In almost all the blogs I have been following several issues or social chaos are beautifully expressed. But I could sense that love is the ultimate thing lacking behind it all. I believe everything is connected to this thread, woven together. A sever will destroy the whole status. The answer is new and deep every time when I ask others, Is love an emotion ?

For one, it’s the source or provider of hope to live or exist, day after day and year after year. An additional perspective is that, love is the essential requirement to have a healthy and peaceful mind without which no one can live. Love is even expressed as a feeling so tender yet mightiest of all. The scripture says even if you possess all the riches if there is no love then you are void. Indeed that contain the core of all that we are seeking but it’s too profound to munch through. I have seen youth desperately struggling to win their love. For them it’s a state of mind. But it is never such with mother and child. There, love is a strong bondage. The discussion will never end for this is a vast topic ever comprehended by human wisdom.

Reasons for love being superior –

Love is the only emotion where we have a divine perception. It is so much a gift from above. There is distinct difference in the way we love. We often do it for the sake of our own existence or it is self centered. But if you can love unconditionally … that’s a true grace. I find it hard to practice with everyone. With counted beings, it is possible to an extend but not with everyone. This is a major deficit in the present society where we have unhappy families outnumbering day by day (deliberately not accessing the danger zone of crimes and persecution). Definitely love is God’s priceless gift and we should never limit it with our own ways.

The character an individual possess is in proximity with their inherent love. I presume that love has manifold attributes, we come across each day. Honesty, obedience, self control, meekness, responsibility, emotional stability, compassion and what more !
It even change the way we perceive mother nature ..I am tossing this thought for you to mull over how tangled love is …

Mother opens her favorite box of ice cream only to give the full measure to her child
He saves each penny to buy the most cherished gift for her
She deliberately acts daring to strengthen her soul mate at times of turmoil
Together they share the joy and pain in caressing the oldies once their world

The wheel rolls and rolls with ever changing roads but the ray of love
continue to guide …

Guyz, put in your valuable comments about love being the utmost emotion !

Monday, January 25, 2010


This was a long break. But it’s now high time to come out of the shell. The vanishing act was based on my own disposition as a writer - either be candid or stay silent. A new beginning new step Hoping for the best Holding back the sigh to hear the call The urge to reach the stars aspired How long a walk it is But I will not go weary For the wings of hope carry me Deceiving the pits of despondency Nothing can tow down my spirits Nor can any judge me ever For I am no where to be seen Swallowed by the tongues of promise ! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have been tagged. I dint even know what it was !! Thank you Nipun for the sweet New Year surprise. God Bless ! Will do it soon !